Another day of waiting

I don't have a whole lot to add.  But it does help me to sit and get my feelings out. Actually the blood results are in. Dr. Hansen (who is simply an orthopedic Dr) called John.  He said he can not diagnose anything because that is not his job. But said the white blood cell count is really high and his pathology is abnormal. He is referring us to an oncologist and he will send John's records over to them. The fact that he is sending us to an oncologist tells us he has cancer. From our research we are still pretty certain it is leukemia. He has an appointment with an oncologist but it is 11 days away!!!!! TORTURE!!!!!!

John is still looking for another great oncologist that could get us in next week so we can get moving with this. I keep looking to the future and wondering what it will bring. My biggest concern is finances. We are fine as long as John can work and we can keep our health insurance. We do now someone else with leukemia who takes chemo pills and in 3 years has only missed a few days of work. We are hoping John can follow in that category.

We have not told our kids yet. We are wanting to wait until we have more information to tell them.  It is so hard to try and remain normal for them. All I want to do is cry. John and I did have priesthood blessings. They were very comforting and we are grateful for that. I was told that the Lord has prepared me for this. I am trying to be strong for John and the kids.  But, honestly am having a hard time. I constantly feel like I want to throw up, so as a result I am eating very little. It takes me forever to fall asleep every night and I only get a few hours of sleep. John is very uncomfortable with his ribs hurting so he tosses and turns all night.

I am so glad to have family near by and to have the support we do.