I HATE STUPID CANCER

First of all, nothing has changed - just having a bad day and need to get it out. I hate cancer. I hate that it has no consistency and any one can get it. Any one can get it and it makes no sense. Your body can give it to you and your body can choose to fight it or not.  It is awful. This is why I hate cancer:

• Because my kids live in constant fear.
• Because my no matter what, our lives have changed forever.
• Because John can't be who he wants and do what he wants.
• Because it makes me cry all the time.
• Because most of the time I feel like a single mom.
• Because I can not go with my sisters on our annual "sisters weekend".
• Because my kids do not get the Christmas they deserve.
• Because we are constantly worried about John getting a fever and an infection.
• Because John breaks ribs just by bending over.
• Because I constantly think about how John's body will respond to the transplants.
• Because it took my Dad's life, John's biological father's life and 2 of my Grandparents lives.
• Because I can't sleep at night.
• Because John can't go to church ( or the grocery store or out to eat, or the movies . . .)
• Because of the bills it is giving us.
• Because John does not have much energy.
• Because it is scary.